I can live without YOU!

When i meet u,
I thought i would be happy.
But,
I wasn't...

You took advantage of me.
I was hurt.
am hurt and is hurt.
All time!

No matter how hard i try,
i just cannot get rid of you!
Why???

I tried 101 ways to get rid of you.
But I just couldn't.
I failed.
Because you are always with me!
WHY??

What must i do to get rid of you???!
Do you know that
I can live without you!
I will be happier without you!

Everyday,
I just couldn't get myself to look in the mirror.

Even people are telling me off!
It takes me a lot of courage to face people.
I have to be very wary every single second!

I just feel uncomfortable with you around!
I hurts me a lot.
I fake a smile all the time.
Its all my fault!

I am just worried!
Worried all the time.

You invited
candle that shines darkness!
How am i going to live with it???

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!

To let you go,
it so hard....


..........

The story states nobody.
There is no women nor men is involve in the story.
It is all about ME!
Its about MYSELF AND I!

I know it may sound ridiculous,
it is actually about my body.
It is all about my body!
I have never hated my body so much.
Feels like ripping my body apart,
and replace it with the new ones.
I just hate that my body is just too skinny!

SKINNY!
SKINNY!
SKINNY!

People are going anorexic!
But I,
its the opposite!
People are dying to get thin!
Trying go on diet to get thin!
People forced themselves to stop eating.

But i
try my best not to stop eating!
I tried to eat as much as i can!
I starve myself to eat more!
I am hungry for fats and muscle!
That seems to never appear in my life.
It just doesn't appear in the dictionary of my body.

All i can see are just skeleton and bones.
And the number 45!
Just don't seem to go away.

I am looking anorexic for a guy!
I am way under weigh for my age!

People are telling me to eat more!
Eat more!
EAT MORE!
EAT MORE!!!

I AM EATING MORE!!!
ALRIGHT!!!

What else do you want me to do???

Everytime i look at food!
I force myself to eat them.
No matter how full i was.

'People force themselves to eat'
Never heard of that right?

Each time i look in the mirror,
it just breaks my heart.

What more facing people.
Sometimes,
i am scared to meet people,
just because of my body.
I just could not get what people always think.

"Oh my god! He is so skinny!"
"Is he anorexic or what?"
People have never say this to me,
but i believe that they ever thought of it!
Maybe in just being paranoid...
But whatever!

I just could not live like this all my life.
I have to get rid of it!
And be better!

I just hate my body the way it is!
I HATE IT!
I HATE IT!
I HATE IT!


Despite all the hatred that i have to my body,
i am grateful that i am alive!
Healthy!

I am grateful that i can do whatever i want.
I can eat,
I can walk,
I can talk,
I can smell,
I can listen,
I can see,
Practically, i can do things that other can.

Thank You God

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prince sayfiq j