emotional change

feeling.

For some reason,
I can feel now.

For some reason,
I can get emotional.
I get more emotional right now.

My tears are like free.

Last time,
I have hard time feeling others.
I barely cry nor just teared.


I can watch love stories, or sad movies and be like
oh.. ok..
so sad...
but emotionally fine.
its like not affected.


Now,
i can feel sad at many simple things.
That day i was watching extreme make over home edition.
They were talking about some of the hard times and the person cried.

And in the name of god!
I felt so sad.
and i started tearing!

I was like WOW!
How in the world did that happen?
I have watched the show like a million times
and now i started tearing.
Not only one time,
but many time!

when i listen to love song at night also.
i managed to listen to the lyrics and capture the intention.
i teared.
not because of the break up but i dont know why.
*maybe the break up have affected me and partly contributed*

but still,
I am just amazed.

not only that,
the idea of getting angry is starting to be on me.
i somewhat can get angry easily.
for some reason,
i start to defy my mother.
i talked back.
which i dont do.

i would usually just keep quiet and keep the comment to myself.
just not defy her.
ill just keep my mouth shut.
and not say a word or even a sound.

i feel like a teenager right now.
feel like i am going through what teenagers does.
try to go against the current.

trying to prove that I am right.
trying to be dominant.
trying to claim my rights.
trying to think that I am always right.
trying to think that all my decision is right even though it is wrong.

i dont like this idea.
i dont like all those idea.
i dont like what i am right now.

this is not a good change.


...


anyway,
i found my new love.

Kelly Low Jiayi.
I Love you so much!
I love how much we love so many things so similar.
I love how we know how we feel.
I love how we know how we think.
I love the fact you are a part of my life.
I love you Kelly.

...

too much negative post here.
will paint up some bright colours on the next post.


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Prince Syafiq J

moving on

I am just lazy to blog.

Nonetheless.



I have been in a pretty crazy ride.

Life have been good.
But on the other side.
Pretty much going down south.

Those who have been following me on twitter must have seen it.
I think its very obvious.
Ill just confess it here.

I was pretty much attached.
And it didnt work out well.
I mean, on my part, I have tried.
But seems like the other party choose to let it go.

I was ready to make sacrifices for the other party.
But it wasnt really accepted in some ways.
I was really what the other party was looking for.

I mean what else can I do?

All I can say is that the other party is very much a good person.
Very understanding.
Kind.
All the good stuff.
Naturally a good person.

The way the other party looks.
The vibe that the other party give.
Its all good.
Its like a sun.

Just shining and give you that comfortable warm feeling.

I just cant bear to let it go because the other party was very much a good person.
I mean it was my first.
So,
its hard to let it go.

Now that there is no more us.
There is only me.
I am all alone.

Hmmm...
The feeling of loneliness.
The feeling of where am I.
The feeling of what am I going to do now.
The feeling of...

Everyday I asked myself,
what are you doing?
are you already moving on?
are you okay?
are you thinking of me coz I am thinking of you.

Emotionally attached to you.
You cannot cheat your feelings.
I would be lying if I dont have feelings for you.
Up till now.

There are so many things that reminded me of you.

I took the train, and some one smelled like you.
I look at someone, a very close resemblance of you.
I look at some product, reminded me of you.
The food that I ate.
All those advices you gave.

In those short period.
I got to know you so much.


All these makes it harder for me to move on.


Now it have been awhile.
Sometimes I feel like I have moved on.
Sometimes I feel like I am still on the day US didnt exist.

Whatever it is,
I am telling myself.
I will move on.
I am going to move on.
Moving on will I.


It may be hard.
I may take days.
I may take weeks.
I may take months.
I may take years.
I WILL MOVE ON.

...






















































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Prince Syafiq J

Forever and Always

She's sitting at the table, the hours get later
He was supposed to be here
She's sure he would have called
She waits a little longer, there's no one in the driveway
No one's said they've seen him
Why, is something wrong?
She looks back to the window
Suddenly the phone rings
A voice says something's happened
That she should come right now
Her mind goes to December
She thinks of when he asked her
He bent down on his knees first
And he said


I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together
Forever and always


She pulls up to the entrance
She walks right to the front desk
They lead her down a million halls, a maze that's never ending
They talk about what happened but she can barely hear them
She tries to keep a straight face as she walks into the room
She sits by his bedside, holds his hand too tight
They talk about the kids they're gonna have and the good life
The house on the hillside, where they would stay


Stay there forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together, and always remember
Whether rich or for poor or for better
We'll still love each other, forever and always


Then she gets an idea and calls in the nurses
Brings up the chaplain and he says a couple verses
She borrows some rings from the couple next door
Everybody's laughing as the tears fall on the floor
She looks into his eyes, and she says


I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together, and always remember
Whether happy or sad or whatever
We'll still love each other, forever and always
Forever and always, forever and always


She finishes the vows but the beeps are getting too slow
His voice is almost too low
As he says, I love you forever, forever and always
Please just remember even if I'm not there
I'll always love you, forever and always


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Say Hello To Goodbye

Seems like it didnt work out.

I let my insecurity play the game.


I wanted you to be strong for me.
But i didnt want to disappoint you.



I think its better this way.
Better for us.



Anyway,
thanx for the memories.
Really appreciate every moment we had together.










Now its time to heal.
Time to move on.





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Prince Syafiq J

move on?

I want to tell you something.
Something that might broke your heart.

I have told you this.
But I am very afraid of moving on.

I feel for you.
But I dont really really feel for you.

I dont know how to explain it.

For some reason I dont know why,
I cant see you filling up my empty heart.

Maybe it takes time.

But what happen if time dont work?
and nothing happens?

I will end up hurting you.

Which I dont want to.
Which I dont intend to.

I dont want you to see this as a 'try out' for me.
I am myself trying my best to be serious about it.



Should I just take a step back?

Should I just cut the string between us?

Should I just wait?


What should I do?


I feel like I am having a city in my brain.
Loads of building, complex winding roads.
Extremely populated and polluted.
It is just so complex.
I think I shall call it
CompleXity!


I am very very sorry if I hurt you in the end...


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Prince Syafiq J

Best I ever had

I opened the door.

Open the door to 2 precious person in my life.

I feel so much free-ier now.
I feel like I can fly better.
Fly easier.

Because the two precious person in my life;
i can now walk along with them
without wearing any thick coat of secrets
which have been weighing me down.

No wonder I am so skinny...
hahha

But yeah.
I am glad that they know things I want them to know.

I am so freaking delighted.

Thank you guys!
I love you till the core of my heart, lungs and soul.


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PrinceSyafiqJ

nasi padang

Is this the beginning?

I mean,
the journey?

I am very scared.
I am very very scared.

Please save me if I fall.

I know nothing about what this journey will be like.
I know nothing about how this journey will be like.


I feel anxious.
I feel scared.
I feel insecure.
I feel happy.
I feel delighted.


My feelings is like a
Nasi Padang in a packet.
A whole mixture of various dishes.
Some I love.
Some I dont favour.

But overall,
it is nice.

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princesyafiq

thank you

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you for the talk.
Thank you for your honesty.
Thank you.

I appreciate that.



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Prince Syafiq J

lets do it together

It seems like you are already running the marathon.
While I merely started warming up.

I think you are moving too fast.
Dont you think so?



Coz I dont feel for you.
I dont have that urge to be with you.
I dont have that need for you.
I dont think I am there yet for you.
I dont think I am ready for you.

If I am not ready,
We are not ready.

There is no We when there is only you.
We only exist because of me and you.


Lets stop for now.
You take a few steps back.
And lets take a baby step forward; Together.

Because I still dont understand you.
And you still dont understand me.

I still dont know you.
And you still dont know me.


We need to be comfortable with each other.
And I am not fully comfortable with you.
As a friend?
Yes.
More than that?
No.

I want to be able to talk to you like how i talk to my friends.

This diamond is still buried deep down below
and have not shown its true colour.

And you have not seen my colours.
It maybe beautiful
It maybe ugly
It all depends on your eyes.


If you want Us to be love.
A superficial one.
Then,
I am sorry.
Unfortunately, I am not one of them.
I have a complex mindset.
I have deep thoughts.
And love is one that I am exploring now.

So, if you are just scratching the surface,
dont scratch mine.

I am trying to dig a deep hole to find the true meaning of it.

If you want Us to be love,
we have to take sail the voyage together.
And I sail it slow and steady.

I dont want to start sailing when the boat is only partially not done.


Here is the songs.




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prince syafiq j

Quando Quando Quando

.

.

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Prince Syafiq J

what if...

What if...?

If there is You and I.
I wonder how will it be.


What if?

I dont know how will I be.
I dont know how you will be.
I dont know how we will be.


What if?

You, me and love.


What if?

There are so many questions I want to ask.


What if?

Will I love you dearly.
Will I be willing to sacrifice my life for you.
I dont know.
Coz now,
I dont feel anything.
I dont feel you.
I dont feel us.


What if?

I feel me.
I feel lost.
I feel unsure.
I feel unassured.
I feel...


What if?

I dont know how you feel about me.
I dont know how you will feel about me.


What if?

Are you going after me because of who i am
or
are you going after me because of what i have?


What if?

I dont know.
I dont know.
I dont know.


What if?

I dont feel right.
I dont feel wrong.

What if?

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Prince Syafiq J

assurance?

You see a storm heading our way
You know the cold can make things delay,
Up here it can't do any harm.
The cracks show in the concrete jungle
Tear apart the weakest of hearts,
Up here you'll be safe in my arms.
Oh.

I know that you're feeling like we're only dreaming
Well don't look down 'cause this is real.

Like a satellite we're flying
Overhead where we see it all.
Nothing can touch us, we're everything and more.
There's no turning back from this point.
Reaching heights like never before.
Nothing can touch us, we're everything, we're everything and more.

Let's try holding each other,
Found a love to last forever.
Up here gives you wings to stay strong, ooh.
The air is pure that we're breathing.
We're something to believe in,
'Cause I feel it's where we both belong.

I know that you're feeling like we're only dreaming
Well don't look down 'cause this is real.

Like a satellite we're flying
Overhead where we see it all.
Nothing can touch us, we're everything and more.
There's no turning back from this point.
http://www.elyricsworld.com/everything_and_more_lyrics_david_archuleta.html
Reaching heights like never before.
Nothing can touch us, we're everything, we're everything and more.

Trust me this is worth not falling back to Earth.
Everything and more is up here.

Like a satellite we're flying
Overhead where we see it all.
Nothing can touch us, we're everything and more.
There's no turning back from this point.
Reaching heights like never before.
Nothing can touch us, we're everything and more.

Nothing can touch us, we're everything, we're everything and more.
We're everything and more, hey

.

.

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Prince Syafiq J

The Lonely Guy

Hmmm...

Was kinda bored.
So watched tv.
Watched HBO and came across this movie.

What captured my attention was...


I bet you know...

The title of the movie.

'The Lonely Guy'

So i decided to watch it,
since the title is pretty relate-able to what I am in now...

Didnt really catch it from the start.
A simple movie.
But it was a funny movie.

You know Steve Martin!
Such a funny person.


And the soundtrack.
.

.

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Prince Syafiq J

SHOPPING List

*disclaimer: majority of the photos below are extracted from various websites.
so, if you want me to remove them, do leave me a message*

Here comes the holy month.
The fasting month.

Despite the hunger I am facing,
It is also a good time to shop.
SHOPPING!!!

yes.

A good reason to shop.
Coz Hari Raya is coming.

Kinda Need new clothes for hari raya!

haahhahh!


So i am going to list out what I wana buy.
Shopping list.

I already got my (1) electric/royal blue pants.
bought it at my work place, John Little.
They surprisingly have that cool coloured pants!



its sold at $29!
I think its pretty cheap.
I mean I saw them selling at Topman and Massimo Dutti.
For sure it WILL cost a bomb!
and further more,
I got my permanent staff to use her staff card.
so, i got 25% OFF!
hahaah!

So its like $21 dollars!
FREAKING CHEAPER!!!!!
MUAHAHHAH!!!

and I am loving that blue pants!!!!
Because it is super bold blue!


I think that the BLUE is the BEST colour ever!
No wonder the sky is blue.
You will never EVER get sick of it!

the aunty at my workplace say its not nice coz it is hard to match.
I got no comment coz they are aunties...
hahhaa

I think the pants is FUN!
Its a bold bold colour!



You can go both ways.
You can either make it pop outmore!
or take a chill pill with it.

I plan to pair it with another popping colour.
Like yellow, orange or red shirt.
Yeah!
its called COLOUR BLOCKING!

But you will need a few MORE BALLS to carry this look!
coz you WILL FOR SURE
STAND OUT in the crowd!



or

wear a white or black or grey or warm neutral colours
with it to ease the boldness.



I already have a hot red berm.
i rarely wear it but when I wear them,
I think i have handle them well.

+


Got my (2) floral shirt.

The bottom half of the shirt kinda faded to a dark green colour.
Didnt take a full length photo with it.
and yes!
another item that requires you to be have ba gua skin!

i got mine at KL.
Its around Rm50 or less there
Coat about SGD20 ish...

cheap right?!


In Singapore,
it would have cost SGD50 itself!
Like What The Falala!!
(im fasting, so cannot say the F word)

I think if a guy were to wear a floral shirt,
he needs to consider a lot.
like the flower printed.
the colour of the shirt.

I mean the fact that you are wearing something
that is PRETTY!
that is meant to be for WOMEN!
You need to make it look MANlier on you!

To be safe,
try avoiding PINK flowers!
or pink shirt with flowers.
Its just too feminine.




I like how the red blazer kinda tone down the floral print.


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I want to buy some (3) coloured cardigan.
i think cardigan is a good thing.
I know the weather in singapore is hot,
but it is a nice outer wear to have to spice up you look a little.
Just pull the sleeve up and i am fine with a simple tshirt in singapore!

I already have black and grey cardigan.
I just need a few more with cool colours.









I was working in John Little and they have MANY nice cardigan.
its only $25!

And cardigan is light,
so i can just throw them in my bag when i dont need them,
and my bag will still be as light.

so a coloured cardigan is a MUST!

next is anything leopard prints!
OH MY GOD!

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I have been dying to own (4) anything Leopard prints!!!
ANYTHING!
This is a MUST MUST in my wardrobe!

Be it shoe, shirt, tshirt, jacket, cardigan, pants, shorts!
I NEED to have at least ONE!


I love how balanced the shoe is.
It is not ROAR!


Unlike this shoe.
But I wouldnt mind owning it!


I think this shirt is nice.
Manly enough.



One of my favourite shoe.
Coz it have the best of both world!
Animal prints and Studs!



Even Steven Tyler wears them!!!

why cant i???

if not leopard prints,
I am fine with other animal prints.
Zebra, tiger, giraffe, cow...
anything!

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Basics!
I need (5) Basic tshirt!
Like plain old coloured Tshirts!



I have a lot of tshirt but they are all printed with graphics and stuff.
I need like many simple plain colouful tshirts.
I know that my good friend, Mr Hasidie owns LOADS of them!
from TOPMAN especially!

I dont even have a simple black or white tshirt.
Nope!

I need them coz I want to pair them up with what i stated above.
all things crazy clothes!
hahaha
And also kinda to simplify my clothes.
Coz you CANNOT!
CANNOT! and NEVER EVER!
Wear crazily printed shirt with leopard prints clothes!

oh yah!
and maybe (6) long sleeve tshirt also!



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I have been wanting to buy this for long!
a (7) black sheer shirt.
it is so hard to get this!






I know Topman has it but you know I dont play Topman!
It is freaking EXPENSIVE!!!
I only go for CHEAP GOODS!
So, I am trying to get it from the ladies shop or blogshop
coz i know i can get it at a way cheaper price!

I want to wear sleeveless shirt or singlet with the sheer shirt.
and not like this


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I know that i will own one of these when November comes.
(8) Boots!



Yes!


i want to stuff my skinny jeans in them!
wear them with men shorts! or berms!
and show off my MEN hairy skinny chicken legs!
meggings and shorts!
WOOHOO!





Talking about boots.
Especially Doctor Martens,
they came up with Brogue Shoes!
I think they are awesome!

this is brogue shoe


but Doctor Martens and some other designer made them look
pretty eye popping and
in love with them more!




I went for a temporary admin job.
and show this guy wearing something like this
but all black.
Looks like normal dress shoe but with a twist!
I tell you!
I am soo in love with it now!


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and now a days i see many men in slim blue jeans,
plain white shirt tucked in
with a brown belt and shoe.
that i a perfect match!

I want to get those (9) pairing brown belt and shoe.
This is not any brown.
not those chocolate brown.
But more of an orangey tone brown.





I couldnt find any good example of it
but these guys here are close...



pair them with chinos also...


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and another shoe that i have see it commonly!
It is very very common.
I know I dont like to be common
but i cant help but to need to own one.
(10) boat shoe.

yes!
the ultimate casual shoe!

my brother just bought one.
and its like all red in colour!


I am so loving it!

How i wish i can fit in it!
den i can borrow it from him.

But I want something like this


My uncle owns them.
And I love it!
He wear it at almost any occasion and still look good.

if its not this colour,
I would love a colourful one!






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And lastly!
(11) Accessories!
Loads and loads of them!
"bangles", rings, necklaces, bags, man-clutch

actually there are many others,
but i shall just stop here!

ALL HAIL SHOPPING!!!!

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Prince Syafiq J