emotional change

feeling.

For some reason,
I can feel now.

For some reason,
I can get emotional.
I get more emotional right now.

My tears are like free.

Last time,
I have hard time feeling others.
I barely cry nor just teared.


I can watch love stories, or sad movies and be like
oh.. ok..
so sad...
but emotionally fine.
its like not affected.


Now,
i can feel sad at many simple things.
That day i was watching extreme make over home edition.
They were talking about some of the hard times and the person cried.

And in the name of god!
I felt so sad.
and i started tearing!

I was like WOW!
How in the world did that happen?
I have watched the show like a million times
and now i started tearing.
Not only one time,
but many time!

when i listen to love song at night also.
i managed to listen to the lyrics and capture the intention.
i teared.
not because of the break up but i dont know why.
*maybe the break up have affected me and partly contributed*

but still,
I am just amazed.

not only that,
the idea of getting angry is starting to be on me.
i somewhat can get angry easily.
for some reason,
i start to defy my mother.
i talked back.
which i dont do.

i would usually just keep quiet and keep the comment to myself.
just not defy her.
ill just keep my mouth shut.
and not say a word or even a sound.

i feel like a teenager right now.
feel like i am going through what teenagers does.
try to go against the current.

trying to prove that I am right.
trying to be dominant.
trying to claim my rights.
trying to think that I am always right.
trying to think that all my decision is right even though it is wrong.

i dont like this idea.
i dont like all those idea.
i dont like what i am right now.

this is not a good change.


...


anyway,
i found my new love.

Kelly Low Jiayi.
I Love you so much!
I love how much we love so many things so similar.
I love how we know how we feel.
I love how we know how we think.
I love the fact you are a part of my life.
I love you Kelly.

...

too much negative post here.
will paint up some bright colours on the next post.


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Prince Syafiq J

moving on

I am just lazy to blog.

Nonetheless.



I have been in a pretty crazy ride.

Life have been good.
But on the other side.
Pretty much going down south.

Those who have been following me on twitter must have seen it.
I think its very obvious.
Ill just confess it here.

I was pretty much attached.
And it didnt work out well.
I mean, on my part, I have tried.
But seems like the other party choose to let it go.

I was ready to make sacrifices for the other party.
But it wasnt really accepted in some ways.
I was really what the other party was looking for.

I mean what else can I do?

All I can say is that the other party is very much a good person.
Very understanding.
Kind.
All the good stuff.
Naturally a good person.

The way the other party looks.
The vibe that the other party give.
Its all good.
Its like a sun.

Just shining and give you that comfortable warm feeling.

I just cant bear to let it go because the other party was very much a good person.
I mean it was my first.
So,
its hard to let it go.

Now that there is no more us.
There is only me.
I am all alone.

Hmmm...
The feeling of loneliness.
The feeling of where am I.
The feeling of what am I going to do now.
The feeling of...

Everyday I asked myself,
what are you doing?
are you already moving on?
are you okay?
are you thinking of me coz I am thinking of you.

Emotionally attached to you.
You cannot cheat your feelings.
I would be lying if I dont have feelings for you.
Up till now.

There are so many things that reminded me of you.

I took the train, and some one smelled like you.
I look at someone, a very close resemblance of you.
I look at some product, reminded me of you.
The food that I ate.
All those advices you gave.

In those short period.
I got to know you so much.


All these makes it harder for me to move on.


Now it have been awhile.
Sometimes I feel like I have moved on.
Sometimes I feel like I am still on the day US didnt exist.

Whatever it is,
I am telling myself.
I will move on.
I am going to move on.
Moving on will I.


It may be hard.
I may take days.
I may take weeks.
I may take months.
I may take years.
I WILL MOVE ON.

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Prince Syafiq J