emotional change

feeling.

For some reason,
I can feel now.

For some reason,
I can get emotional.
I get more emotional right now.

My tears are like free.

Last time,
I have hard time feeling others.
I barely cry nor just teared.


I can watch love stories, or sad movies and be like
oh.. ok..
so sad...
but emotionally fine.
its like not affected.


Now,
i can feel sad at many simple things.
That day i was watching extreme make over home edition.
They were talking about some of the hard times and the person cried.

And in the name of god!
I felt so sad.
and i started tearing!

I was like WOW!
How in the world did that happen?
I have watched the show like a million times
and now i started tearing.
Not only one time,
but many time!

when i listen to love song at night also.
i managed to listen to the lyrics and capture the intention.
i teared.
not because of the break up but i dont know why.
*maybe the break up have affected me and partly contributed*

but still,
I am just amazed.

not only that,
the idea of getting angry is starting to be on me.
i somewhat can get angry easily.
for some reason,
i start to defy my mother.
i talked back.
which i dont do.

i would usually just keep quiet and keep the comment to myself.
just not defy her.
ill just keep my mouth shut.
and not say a word or even a sound.

i feel like a teenager right now.
feel like i am going through what teenagers does.
try to go against the current.

trying to prove that I am right.
trying to be dominant.
trying to claim my rights.
trying to think that I am always right.
trying to think that all my decision is right even though it is wrong.

i dont like this idea.
i dont like all those idea.
i dont like what i am right now.

this is not a good change.


...


anyway,
i found my new love.

Kelly Low Jiayi.
I Love you so much!
I love how much we love so many things so similar.
I love how we know how we feel.
I love how we know how we think.
I love the fact you are a part of my life.
I love you Kelly.

...

too much negative post here.
will paint up some bright colours on the next post.


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Prince Syafiq J

unaccepting the accepted.

Its the problem again.
the body problem.
I still have yet come to a point where i accept
my "beautiful" body.

seriously.

there is no way i can sit down and tell myself this.
I LOVE MY BODY.

Sometimes i go out,
and see slim or i should say skinny guys in singlet or tank tops,
i always wonder,
where in the world does he get the confidence to
show so much skin?
or i should say BONES!

Some are even in a tiny little speedos!
that is like MAJOR!
i can see that you are very comfortable with your own body.

I am here not craving for perfection.
Who is?

I dont expect to have washboard abs, big chest or what so ever.
Just want to look healthy.
Healthier.
Something that is more accepted by norm.


however,
after listening to this song,
what can i do?



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PrincesyafiqJ