I think I feel I say I...

better without the music.
Black Art...

Here goes...
I felt stupid! Idiotic! and...

A few days back my parents were listening to the radio in the car.
I had no choice but to listen to it also...
The DJs were discussing about 'Forgiving'
Then the relationship between me and my sister struck in my head...
They received many message from the listeners.
They gave many poem and stuff that got to do with 'Forgiveness'

*Forgive and Forget*

*There is no point keeping the grudge in you
as it will never bring any benefit to yourself*

*Why can't us human forgive each other,
when Prophet Muhammad can forgive its people*

Those are some of the thing that they said.
I kept thinking hard...
Should I forgive my sister for what she did in the past?
Or should I just leave her like that?
Dilemma.....

But if I would forgive her,
Who is going to heal the agony that she gave me in the past?
It hurts so much that it felt as if someone stab you straight right into your heart!
Every time that happens, I will always have breathing difficulty.
I don't know why,
I just ignore it and slowly recover.

Elderly always say, brother should give way to the younger sister.
So, I am giving her the way!
There is so much thing about her that my parents don't know.
They don't know that she already have a boyfriend.
How many? I don't know
But I'm sure there is a lot!
A lot more than you could ever imagine!
My parents also don't know that her boyfriend helps her to top-up her sim card.
My parents don't know that she is talking to him every night.
Literally!
There are a lot more that they don't know!
But I know them.
And I will not telling them about it.
Why?
Because they say that brother SHOULD give way to the younger sister.
Thus I SARCASTICALLY, give way to her.
I have stop talking to her!
That way I wont fight with her.
No argument = parents happy!
I gave her chances.
Let her go first.
Giving her the freedom by not telling my parents about her.

I just can't accept the change in her.
The way she talks back,
is becoming more like those typical teenagers out there.
Why are teenagers like that???
I can't understand why they can be so rebellious???
Whats the point of rebelling???
Does it bring them any satisfaction???
Does it make them more powerful???
Are they trying to dominate the world by rebelling???
Whats up with rebelling???
Doesn't every one wants peace???
I can't understand why???


Every time any child talk back to their parents or elderly,
my hearts goes out to them.
I really pity them.
After all the sacrifice that the parents have done for us,
this is what they get???
Some one younger than you ticking you off?
Why must this happen???
Why can't teenagers just give them the respect that they should have?
Is it so hard to do it?

Back to my relationship.
Despite all the treatment my parents get from my sister,
they still treat her well.
They just bought her a $100 floorball stick for her CCA.
They traveled all the way to Tampines to bet the floorball stick!
That stick is way not important!
If my parents want her to study hard,
Why are they willing to buy her that thing?
Before anything, I AM NOT JEALOUS!

A few weeks back, she took my stuff without asking.
I took it back secretly.
Coz i don't want to make a fuss over this.
Just now, she did it AGAIN!
She took one of my stuff, and claimed that its hers!
WAT THE FUCK!!!!
You are such a MOTHER FUCKING CHEEBYE!
If there is anything worst then a BITCH,
She is one of them!
If there is anything worst then a SLUT or a WHORE,
She is one of them!
I really hate her to the CORE!
(crying...)

Should I still forgive her....?



Maybe, I just want every one to be good...
Maybe I can't accept the fact that the world is changing...
Everyone is changing!
I hope that if I change,
it would be for good...

*
*
*
*
*
*

Prince Syafiq J

Tears...