This is how I want it to be

Here I am.
Some where foreign.
Not my house.
Not my place.
Not my country.

Here I am in a house.
Not mine.
Rented probably.

Here I am.
Here is my life.

Student in some university abroad.
Staying in someone else house.
House that have other student also.

I came back feeling all tired.
Shagged.
Lethargic.
Sick.

Yes thats it.

Sick.

I want to be sick.
Actually no I dont.
Coz I am on my own and being sick is the last thing on my mind.
Well, there is a reason why I want to be sick.
Maybe not a want, but more of wanting to see what happens next.

So,
I throw my bag on the living room floor and sit on the sofa.
Hands on my head.
*you know that headache action*
Resting.

Here is the best part.
YOU.
Yes you.

You came in and saw me.
You got worried.
You came to me and asked me if im okay.

I look at you.
Squint my eyes trying to see who you are.
My vision wasn't that clear.
I gave you that I-am-not-feeling-well-look.

You touched my head.
Touch my throat.
You claim that I am not feeling well.
You claim that I look pale.
You concluded that I got fever.

Yes.
Fever.

Thanks to this cold cold weather this country own.
And my 2nd hand Salvation Army $10 trench coat is so not helping me keep my body warm.
Nope.
It is not.

You went to the kitchen.
You took out a pill or aspirin.
You pour warm water into a clear glass.
You came to me and instructed me to take them and rest.

I pop those pills in.

You pull me up and escorted me to my room.
You lay me down on my bed.
You pull the blanket over me.
You said that I should rest.
You left the room.

I went to sleep.

I sleep.
I sleep.
I sleep.

I woke up.
I was hungry.
I went to the kitchen to get my empty tummy filled up.
I was still sick.
I had to walk with my hand on the wall for support.
I think the medicine was still active.
I can see stars.
I saw you in the kitchen.

You shouted my name.

I blanked out.
I cant remember what happen.

I woke up.

You.
You were sitting beside me.
You were by my bed.
You were looking at me.

I looked at you.

You smiled.

I try to get myself up.
I couldnt.

You helped me up.

I am resting on the bed head board.

You knew I was hungry.
You brought up a bowl of porridge.
A bowl of hot porridge that you just cooked.

I wanted to take the bowl away from you.
But you insisted that I should rest.

You wanted to feed me.

I couldnt help it.

You scoop some of the hot porridge with the soup spoon.
You blew it cold.
You blew it again.
You brought the spoon close to my mouth.

I blew it again.

You feed me.
You feed me till the last drop of liquid in the bowl.

I thanked you.

You put me back to bed.
You asked me to rest.
You left the room.

I went back to sleep.

The next morning.

I woke up.

Before I can get myself up,
you came into my room.

You came in with a tray.

I can see a bowl and a glass of water.

You put the tray by my side table.

My head was still spinning.
I tried to get myself up.

I still couldn't.

You help me up again.

You made porridge again.
You feed me again.
After feeding me,
you gave me a pill to eat.
You bought me medicine.

I thanked you again.

You left the room.

I went back to sleep.

This happen over 2 days.

One time,
while you were feeding me,
I stared at you.

I watch you blowing that hot porridge for me.
I watched you.
I watched you every movement.

Because there wasnt anything interesting to watch.
There was only you.

Yes you.

I spilled out some of the porridge of my mouth.

You took the tissue and wipe my mouth.
I look at you.
I stared at you.

You saw me checking you out.
You looked at me.

I looked at you deep in the eyes.

You looked at me deep in the eyes.

You looked away.
You said that you got something else to do.
You feed me the pills.
You left the room.

I lay on the bed.
I think.
I think about nothing except you.
Yes you.

























So,
do you know what does this means?











Is this what is means?




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Prince Syafiq J