fear of love

Dear Love,

I am so afraid of you.
I am so scared of you.
I am so scared of what you can do to me.


I know I have been talking about this love thing a lot.
I just cant help it.
I always keep on thinking about it.

Everywhere I go, there will always be love song playing in some store.


Like what I have always said,
I want to love and be loved.

But one day,
I was just so scared of it.

I dont think I am trying to be optimistic here.
But I was suddenly scared of love.
I am scared of it hurting me.

I see other people fall out of love.
They were hurt.

I see them going through rough times in their relationship.
They were hurt.

That is what I am afraid about.

Lets say if
I were in a relationship.
And we love each other so much.
And for some reason,
we break up.

I think that is the last thing every person wants to happen.


Yah yah yah.
I know that I have not been a relationship
and already thinking about all these stuff.
But what if it really happen?

I seriously have never been in true blue relationship.
I am just afraid of all the things that every couple goes through.
All those disagreement, arguments, fights and etc...

If it happens,
I dont know if I have the power to go through all those.
I dont even know if I have the determination to keep relationship alive.
All I see now is that it is some kind of burden to be in a relationship.


It is like a kerosene lamp.
I will always have to pour in the kerosene to keep the fire alive.



Isn't that a hassle?

Why cant it be like an eagle soaring in the sky
Nicely following the current of the wind.



I am the kind of person who can be very ignorant.

If you ask my friends,
If I were in some kind of argument and dont want to pursue it further,
I can just keep quiet and pretend nothing happen.

I can give you the silent treatment for as long as I can.
I have done it to my sister for over half a decade,
why cant I do it to someone who I just got to know?


I guess my partner have to have a strong determination.
Because of me being ignorant,
the relationship will be a one sided relationship.
I know if that happen,
it is not worth keeping the relationship.

Okay...
I dont know what I am talking about now.
Kinda lost track of my intention.



Whatever is it,
I am just so afraid of love.



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PrincesyafiqJ