change is me.

The world have change
Time = Change
Change is Me.

I have change.

I know I have change.
But for better or worst,
I have no idea.

.

I dont know what to say.
I mean,
i feel like i am getting into this thing called love.
I believe the past few post have been pretty much about love.
so is my twitter.
I am just so curious about it.

In the past,
love is like nothing to me.
Its like redundant.
I dont find the need to love someone else.
*aside from family and friends*
I mean,
i find it troublesome.

Probably,
I see it in one point of view.
Because i came from a typical neighbourhood.
in a typical school.
so,
the perceptive of love is from what i see.

Now I have the ability to see more than what i see.
I see things in a different way.
I see whats infront and whats behind.
It now a 3-dimensional view.

I am glad of this change.
I think this is what maturity brings.
And i love that idea.

Back to so called my "love life"
I some how sense someone likes me.
Ok.
Maybe I am being 'paranoid'.
Or reading things wrongly.
Or thinking too much.
But I am just on my guard.

Whoever you are,
here is my stand
"I Am NOT Ready"

If you confess your feelings to me,
I hope you know how will i react.

.

But than again,
when will one be ready?

I mean,
I always say that I am not ready an stuff.
But when will i be ready.

Using the concept of examination.
You will always feel like you are not ready.
No matter how much you have studied,
you will still feel not ready
coz you dont really know what is going to appear in the paper.
In examination,
you can at least prepare.
With the help of ten years series,
you roughly know what kind of storm is come toward you.

Unlike love,
there is no ten years series that can help you prepare for it.
Especially for a person like me,
i barely have any experience in it.
I know nuts about being in a relationship.
I know nuts what the 3 word sentence really means.
I am a fool nood in this situation.

all i can say is that,
i will never be ready.
never ever.

..

On the other side,
I guess i have become mean-er.
I mean,
I have said many mean things to people.
But i believe they are mostly meant to be jokes.
But some people take it too hard.
I am find with it.
If they are not happy with my mean jokes,
please acknowledge it.
I will stop if they want me to.

I realise,
when i get more vocal,
i get more mean.

All i can say is that,
all these means things have been in my head eversince ever.
Its just that i have been keeping it in me.
Now that i get more vocal,
i tend to let it out without thinking.
and those words just slashes peoples heart.
Now, with twitter,
it get even more vocal.
Coz it literally speaks my mind.
*to a certain extend. those dirty thoughts are not meant to be shared!*
hahahahah!

I even realise when i go out with my friends,
i made many bad remarks.
I dont know why,
but it some how became a part of me.

I think this is THE change that I do not want to see.
I think its the change that not everyone wants to see.

..

now that i am officially turning into an ADULT,
i wonder how it feels to be one.
i wonder how it feels or one adult think.

I am now working and thus surrounded by adults.
I really wonder what is in their mind.
Me,
what i believe to still holding on to a teenagers mind,
just want to have fun, go crazy and stuff like that.
But an adult...?

Do they still think about running around the field naked?
Or think about just wanting to stay at home and rest.
or how about those who are married?
or how about those with family?
what do our spouse think about?
what do our parents think about?

what is everyone thinking about?


I believe that some things,
only time have the answer.

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psj